


I Can Hold You

by Anathema_Cat



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Light Angst, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anathema_Cat/pseuds/Anathema_Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“I’m cold in the marrow of my bones..."</i> </p>
<p>Recent prisoners of war, Dwalin, Nori, Fili, Kili, and their companions escaped the miserable camp where they were held. Now they share strength and love as they struggle to make it through a harsh mountain winter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Hold You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Veraverorum (your_Mother)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_Mother/gifts).



> Happy holidays to [Veraverorum](http://archiveofourown.org/users/your_Mother/pseuds/Veraverorum)! This is my first time writing a pairing other than Fili/Kili. I hope you like it! (As always, I'm so grateful for my wonderful beta reader [deanohell](http://archiveofourown.org/users/deanohell/pseuds/deanohell), who read this for me at the very last minute.)

Dwalin's breath misted in front of his eyes as he struggled up yet another mountain. Hill. Large hill, small mountain, ridge of a long-dead monstrosity, it mattered not. Distance, and quiet he supposed, mattered. Distance remained challenging given the group's condition. Quiet, well, he didn't think he was capable of it.

No matter how softly he thought he stepped, how worn his once thick boots were, he felt like an elephant trampling a village with every move. Most of the others were similar, stocky and heavy, louder the more they strived for secrecy. Kili, the hunter - he could manage some stealth. His brother had a harder time, but could pull it off when he concentrated. And then there was Nori. That one could sneak up on a wildcat. Dwalin had no idea how he managed it - he didn't look that very different from the others. A bit lankier maybe, but though he wasn't military, he looked like he had kept in shape before their privations. No idea.

Dwalin also didn't know the names of the trees that lined the narrow path, covered the horizon, shielded their passing. He wiped his forehead, slick with sweat despite the frigid air. Silent sentinels, these pine trees. All evergreens were pine trees to him, though he knew that wasn't right, he just knew now these suffered no other trees and that their needles softened the ground and may well have saved his back on this long march. At his most exhausted, he might even admit to whispering thanks to the trees at the end of particularly long days.

“Your cousins whisper in the dark, too,” a soft voice said in his ear.

Dwalin was too tired to jump. He managed a weak eye roll as he tilted his head back and eyes down into the hazel of his shadow.

“You said that out loud,” Nori said.

Dwalin supposed going crazy was better than Nori reading his mind.

“Oh good,” Dwalin managed, before focusing on what Nori had said. “And leave them alone.”

“Don’t you wonder?” Nori murmured.

“No. I don’t.”

“Easy, Dwalin,” Nori said, eyes serious for one of the rare moments that never failed to catch Dwalin off-guard. Nori was so much more than what he showed on the surface.

“I don’t think anyone else does either,” Nori continued. And just like that the sly smile was back. “I just thought no one else would notice what I whisper to you either.”

So he wasn’t too exhausted to jump after all. He kept his eyes studiously forward, though.

“Can you imagine?” Dwalin’s tormenter continued. “I’m sure I’d say something about your hands. They look so strong. And maybe your eyes. You keep them hard, but I think you’re soft on the inside.”

“Nori!” Dwalin barked. He felt several heads swivel toward him. He moderated his voice before attempting to play it off. “You are failing to act professionally.”

Nori reached up toward his own face but ended up tugging Dwalin’s beard, then scratching his own head before Dwalin even knew what was happening.

“Professional,” Nori snorted. “We’re unwanted escapees of a forgotten POW camp.”

“ _Not_ forgotten,” Dwalin snapped. “Too remote. Maybe unknown.”

“Perhaps,” Nori’s voice was soft now. Sympathetic? Probably not. “But that’s not what I want to hear you whisper to me.”

_Curse the man._ Dwalin wasn’t so thick he didn’t realize Nori had been flirting with him for weeks, but he had no idea how to respond. If he wanted to respond. Before he could come up with something, Nori was gone, drifting back toward his brothers.

  


* * *

  


"Slow down," Fili whispered. Kili barely heard the disturbance of air, but he saw it on his brother's flushed lips. He didn't want to, but it was almost a game between them now, a distraction from... everything. Kili looked into the clear blue eyes, beyond the frosty sheen that only he could melt, as he stilled his hand on Fili's erection.

Despite his own lust, his overwhelming desire to have and be had, he brought his other hand from Fili's still hard chest to his cheek. He meant to ask if Fili was sure. Slow was so much more difficult to keep silent.

"This isn't going to work," he mouthed instead.

Fili's eyes brightened with concern - he wanted to say something, a lot judging by the way his lips compressed and the lines around his eyes deepened - but he couldn't now. The moonlit night was so still, so perfectly silent, only punctuated by an occasional animal call and the crackling of the tiny dying fire.

The fire. Thorin had allowed it, saying death by freezing was still dead and the full moon lessened the risk. But the pit was small, and the group huddled around it. More of a challenge than usual.

Fili touched cold fingertips to Kili's cheekbone, ran a thumb over an eyebrow. Kili wanted nothing more at that moment than to kiss Fili, to feel his confidence in their relationship, but ironically the forced closeness of the group meant they had to maintain at least some inches of distance. Fili moved his hand over Kili's and pulled it down to his side. Then he nodded, the tiniest of smiles quirking his lips.

Kili took a breath and began moving his other hand again. The only place they were hot, it was an awkward fit through blanket and waistband, over cloth to catch the result, but he made it work as they always did. He moved slowly, rough skin gliding carefully over soft, thumb swirling just as Fili liked it. Fili's eyes fluttered closed and his head sunk back. Kili bit his tongue and squeezed Fili's hand to stifle his harsh breath. Not even touched, and he felt ready to explode, but his turn would come next time. Fili never made a sound.

  


* * *

  


Day after day was spent slogging up and down, dwindling supplies on tired backs, breath coming in gasps. Beautiful vistas, all blues and greys, were viewed by eyes too tired to appreciate.

Dwalin no longer feared pursuit, but he knew Thorin would use it for motivation as long as he reasonably could. The group yet faced the danger of their distance from help.

Dwalin’s tired mind drifted back to the redhead behind him. His insinuations about Fili and Kili were easy to ignore – he’d been doing so practically their whole lives. They were discreet, so their family refused to add to the burden of whatever curse bound them to each other.

He couldn’t so easily ignore the rest. The skinny snake had wriggled his way around Dwalin’s feet, tripped him up, was making his way toward a full body hold. He’d always fancied himself - when he thought of a real relationship at all - with someone like Thorin, military certainly, with a general’s bearing if not his appearance. But this one, just –

“I’m cold in the marrow of my bones,” Nori whispered.

“Why do you always sneak up on me?” Dwalin said to ignore the part of him that wanted to gather the lean man into his arms and hold on until his warmth melted Nori into his heart.

“You make more noise than a Stuka attack,” Nori teased. “You wouldn’t hear a bear crashing toward you.”

“I would -,” Dwalin began automatically before he stopped himself. At this point, he probably wouldn’t. And he was too tired to argue.

“Here. Take my cloak,” Dwalin said as he shrugged his pack off his aching back. “It’s not much, but better than nothing.”

“You have more effective ways of providing heat, Dwalin,” Nori murmured.

To his chagrin, Dwalin couldn’t stop the heat that lit up his face. He could only hope no one would look his way for a bit.

“Mm hm,” the intolerable bastard pressed his advantage, “I think you’d like that.”

“If. When we get back, I am military. Well. We are. I can’t.”

Nori just stared at him, eyebrow raised.

“We’re very different,” Dwalin finished helplessly as he quietly wished for someone to punch him. How could he be attracted to someone who reduced him to stammering?

“What about now?”

Nori left him speechless. Every time.

  


* * *

  


Just ahead Thorin raised his hand to halt the group. Dwalin, of course, and the rest of the soldiers froze. The civilians, as usual, took a few shuffling steps before realizing everyone else wasn't moving. Well, all but one of the civilians. Dwalin threw a glance over his shoulder. Nori stood stock still a few paces behind the others. The mischievous smirk on his face was decidedly un-military. The others ranged from his older brother's concern to younger Ori's fear, and Bofur's disappointment, probably with himself for not catching the halt this time. Dori missed a grab at Nori's arm as he sidled silently up to Dwalin, eyebrow raised. Dwalin shook his head, a mix of consternation and indication of no immediate danger.

Thorin never moved a muscle, his near shoulder-length salt-and-pepper hair ruffled by the breeze. Dwalin was surprised to find that long hair suited his cousin, though he'd never say as much. Thorin despised it, and may have attempted escape solely with the goal of finding scissors.

Soon enough, the general's nephews emerged from the forest, Fili still managing a military bearing despite similarly overgrown hair. Somehow Fili's beard grew evenly, too. His brother was another story. Kili's skills were sharp as ever, but his wild dark hair and scraggly beard made him look a sprite from the forest rather than one of the most talented scouts the military had to offer.

Both were breathing hard, unthinkable before their months as prisoners of war. Thorin waited silently as they caught their breath, contrasting eyes confirming lack of any immediate danger.

Nori sidled up to Dwalin, auburn hair braided down his back, as it had always been. Though not required, the other civilian contractors had kept their hair short back when they could. "How goes it, Dwalin?" he whispered.

Dwalin raised his eyebrows as he looked toward the electrical engineer. "You know as well as I how things stand."

"I meant with you, big man," Nori smirked. "You carry more than any of us."

"I’m fine," Dwalin snapped, as usual uncertain of the implications and wanting to hear the brothers' report. The insufferable, knowing smirk stayed in place as Nori turned attention to the front.

"Signs of old farms," Fili said, "look to have been abandoned before the war. Feral cats were the scariest thing we encountered."

Thorin shook his head. "Behind?"

"I can't find a single sign of pursuit," Kili said.

Nori looked toward Dwalin, who nodded. If Kili couldn't find it, it wasn't there to be found. It had been unexpected, though. Dwalin didn't like unexpected.

Thorin nodded to his nephews, whose stances relaxed slightly. He turned to the group and drew them in. "I don't think we're being pursued. It's been too long."

He paused to see if anyone else saw the implications. Dwalin certainly knew - he and Thorin had spent too many long nights worrying over it.

"The camp was in the middle of the glow we saw," Nori said - characteristically sharp, uncharacteristically somber. He got it. Dwalin was impressed despite himself, despite all the teasing and the hair, and -

Thorin nodded at Nori, then spoke, softly but matter-of-fact. “The camp is destroyed. The main reason we have not been hunted down.”

The civilians muttered. Dwalin felt sorry for them. They imagined they had beaten the enemy. He would’ve liked them to believe it. At this point, though, they had to accept the truth.

“The good news is we can move a bit more slowly, have larger fires,” Thorin continued. “The bad news is we’re on our own.”

“But the allies. Our men,” Dori said. “They will come for us.”

“If the camp is gone,” Nori said, facing toward his brothers. “It’s a fair chance they think we perished in it.”

Thorin should’ve been the one to say that, but he probably let it go for the sake of Nori’s brothers. “He’s right. We must make it to civilization on our own.”

  


* * *

  


Fili’s fingertips, bare above his unraveling gloves, brushed the back of Kili’s hand. Kili sighed, at once comforted and saddened by the contact.

As always, he stifled the urge to grab the hand, caress the well-known callouses, kiss every tiny cut, return the warmth his brother offered to him every chance he had.

“I’m getting carried away,” he muttered.

Fili turned sunshine eyes on him, crinkles of mirth around the edges. “Save those thoughts for later,” he whispered.

“You’re not helping.”

“Oh?” Noble Fili, the picture of restraint, master of stoicism, was absolutely infuriating.

“I’m going to pay you back one day, I swear,” Kili hissed.

Normally Fili would throw back some innocent comment intended to slowly simmer Kili’s blood, banter meant to keep them on edge until it was safe to boil over. The strain was telling on him, too, though. He just sighed in return.

“You do, Kee. You have.”

“Fili.” Kili felt like his heart would explode. From the unrelenting uphill trek, from the hunger, from worry, from love. “We can do this.”

Fili smiled then. _Yes, that’s right,_ Kili vowed. _We will make it._ “That’s not what you said the other night.”

“I get tired.” Kili tried to squeeze every bit of meaning he could into those words, into his eyes.

Fili nodded his understanding. Of course he understood. God, Kili loved him, his soul be damned, he’d never had a choice.

“But we always make it work,” Kili said. “We’ll get out of this, too.”

Another brush of fingertips, and Kili knew he was right.

  


* * *

  


“What does that one mean?” Nori asked, long finger pointing at the grey scrawled tattoo just above Dwalin’s wrist.

“Hazard.”

“And that?”

“Honor.”

“That?”

“Care,” and since he knew what was coming, “the next one is strength.”

“And?” Nori’s finger creeped up Dwalin’s arm, close enough to disturb hair but not touch skin.

“Victory,” Dwalin swallowed.

“You haven’t lost, Dwalin.”

Dwalin looked around the fire, at the haggard faces of his comrades, the slumped shoulders of the civilians he’d sworn to guard, and the tired general he’d protect with his life if he could. Nori sat next to Dwalin, carefully keeping enough distance between their hips to avoid suspicion should anyone glance in their direction.

“Haven’t I?” he whispered.

“Does Thorin look lost?” Nori responded. “Do I?”

Dwalin took a breath of chill air, drew in the comfort of wood smoke, smells of leather and sweat and murmurs of familiar voices. Then he looked at Nori’s strong profile, sharp cheekbone and long nose, eyes sparkling despite hunger. No indeed, Dwalin doubted Nori was ever lost.

“You should’ve been a spy,” Dwalin said. “The security agencies would give anything for an agent of your talent.”

Nori smiled, still facing the fire. “Too much structure. I love communications, but I’m not military.”

“The security agencies aren’t military.”

“You know what I mean,” Nori turned the full force of his smile on Dwalin.

“Yeah.” Dwalin paused. He might have to admit that it was difficult to be pessimistic around this man. “You really think we’ll make it?”

“Of course I do.” Nori raised his eyebrows. “How could you doubt? Look how far we’ve come. I’d be first to admit Ori was the weakest of the lot, and look at him. He’s tired, yes – but he’s tough, and now he _knows_ it. We have hunters in this party, we have foragers, we have the best scouts. And we must be close. I won’t believe otherwise.”

Dwalin tried to see through the lens Nori offered. He took another deep breath. Yes, perhaps the slumped shoulders were just tired, not defeated. He might just be able to concede that.

“I always get what I want,” Nori’s voice slithered into Dwalin’s thoughts.

Dwalin started, mouth suddenly dry. “Do you?” he muttered.

“Oh, that was actually pretty good,” Nori grinned. “Indeed I do.”

“And. And I suppose. You want something more than survival, do you?” Dwalin could barely believe he was doing this, playing Nori’s game. But he wanted… well, he had to admit he wanted something.

“Oh, I do,” Nori’s voice embodied the fire as his eyes reflected it. “And you’re going to see we survive this if only to fight me.”

“Clever,” Dwalin snarled, failing to suppress the heat pooling in his gut.

“Yes,” Nori whispered.

Dwalin almost lost the fight before it had begun.


End file.
